There comes a time in life when you have to stop giving people the privilege of standing on both sides of the fence with you. You cannot keep allowing folks to play it safe at your expense — smiling in your face while protecting someone else behind your back. When a person shows you, through their actions, that they are willing to hurt you just to keep someone else comfortable, believe them. And then… make them stand on it.
Too many times we give grace to people who misuse it. We explain our hurt. We open our hearts. We give them another chance to show they care — only to be met with more excuses, more justifications, more “that’s not what I meant,” while the pain they caused goes unacknowledged.
But here’s the truth: you should never have to tell someone more than once that they hurt you. If they value you, if they value the relationship, if they value your presence in their life — they will hear you the first time. They will take your words to heart, not because you demanded it, but because they care enough to make sure they never put you in that position again.
We have to stop making it easy for people to disrespect us in the name of “keeping the peace” with others. Peace without respect is just quiet chaos. It eats away at your spirit while pretending to be harmony.
So let them stand on their choice. Let them live with the reality that they prioritized someone else’s comfort over your pain. You are not required to keep re-opening wounds for someone who has already shown you that they will not protect your heart.
Your boundaries are not up for negotiation. Your peace is not a bargaining chip. And your worth is not dependent on how well you can tolerate being mistreated.
The next time someone moves in a way that disrespects you, stop explaining, stop pleading, stop hoping they’ll see it differently. Show them, through your own actions, that access to you is a privilege — one they can lose.